" No, I don't mind," I replied still fighting with myself. Suddenly words came by themselves and I could hear myself: "Steve, I am not gay, I always w...nted to be girl, all my life and you are the first and only person who knows my secret." Now barriers were down and I started to reveal my history, my secrets and desires.Suddenly, Steven interrupted my monolog: "I want to see you as girl." Really, do you really mean it, Steven?" Yes, I want to see your feminine side, come tomorrow to my place. I feel safe here. I'm just going to stop thinking and feel. Intellectually I can't believe this is happening, but I can feel your love when we kiss."Jeff smiled at her and briefly touched his lips to hers again.As Joyce got up, Diana led a very not-sure Caitlin to Jeff. Seeing her reluctance, he quietly said, "Please. I won't attack you. I think I proved that last night. Just sit here and let me hold you for a moment."Caitlin found herself sitting. If that's his dick I feel, I need to run. I finally decided I needed to know!I started talking to my wife, about a year ago, about what I had been thinking and what I felt I needed to do. In my own mind, I needed to face my own demon, so to speak. In a controlled environment, do a complete transformation and see what happens. Quite a large and very scary task when you consider all the emotional baggage I thought I was done with.We talked and agreed that if it was something I needed to do, I should do it. I was originally going to do it. So, next thing I know, I have a hand full of her soft blonde hair in my hand, jerk her lips from mine and somehow, I wound up behind her, both of us on our knees on my bed. I have her head pulled back and I am whispering into her ear, actually telling her, more than asking her, do you trust me? Maries doe-shaped eyes were wide in shock and I think I caught a glint of fear in her eyes.I quit pulling so hard, so her neck went back upright and she seemed to relax in front of me. I start recalling.
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